God in the Chaos
This Fall has been absolutely crazy in the Connelly house …
My wife’s job changed, our three kids are in three different schools, we’re in the middle of a major kitchen renovation, our church needs a new Sunday gathering space, culture feels chaotic, we’re doing pre-marital counseling with two couples, a new book with Exponential is launching, we’re teaching our oldest to drive… and all of this sits on top of the normal rhythms of being a husband, dad, neighbor, pastor, and equipper. It’s all good, and I’m deeply grateful as we head into Thanksgiving week. But it is a lot.
Throughout it all, I've come to realize how deeply I love rhythm and routine. I'm a calendar guy; I'm a planner. Holding two jobs for nearly my entire 25+ years of ministry, good stewardship means knowing which days are dedicated to which tasks and people, and how hours are allocated to which responsibilities. This Fall? Almost no rhythm at all. My wife and I now decide carpool plans nightly (those used to be a peaceful weekly conversation)! I’ve triple-stacked meetings (very unlike me)! And I’ve had more 3 a.m. wake-ups than ever as the past and future needs bombard my brain.
But -- while this season is out of character and I won't hate its end -- God is meeting me in it, growing me in new ways, and showing me the depth of his day-by-day, moment-by-moment provision. Joy-filled moments with family, surprising spiritual conversations with neighbors, new teammates joining The Equipping Group, cancelled meetings that create unexpected space, new opportunities to serve leaders, our little church raised $7,500 to help families affected by the government shutdown, and early-morning times with coffee, Bible, and journal (thanks, 3 a.m. wake-ups!). And all of this sits on top of the everyday mercies of life, breath, food, finances, time, and so much more that God provides.
What I’m paying attention to is my tendency to rely on my schedule, to rest in the routines I’ve built. But when monthly planning is impossible, God has met me in the moment. When life feels chaotic, I’m reminded of His constancy. And perhaps most of all, as I tend to think season-by-season, He is teaching me again how He provides day-by-day. From manna for Israel to ravens for Elijah; from Paul’s promise that “God will supply every need of yours” (Phil. 4:19) to Jesus’ prayer for “daily bread” (Matt. 6:11), the lesson is not new—but I deeply need it. In a word, I'm learning -- yet again and in some small degree of growth -- dependence.
My chaos is more than some people’s and less than others’. I've learned that it’s a normal way of life for some households – wow! And of course, my list is far lighter than the suffering many endure across the world, and throughout history. (I'm reminded of Paul's list in 2 Cor. 11:22-28) But these are the very real things I'm experiencing this Fall, as God grows my dependence on him: to seek him, his kingdom, and to pay attention to each day's priorities, trusting God for that day's provision. It's not a fun lesson -- but I AM grateful for it!
"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Matthew 6:31-33
